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Tips for Online Dating

Tips for Online Dates by Hayden Allen

Top Suject Openers

You’re looking for the first date or perhaps the second, and you’ve found a profile or person that interests you, now it’s time to make that move. But how do you do it? A nervous phone call, a text, through a friend, or via email?


Email is a great unobtrusive way of getting in touch (if you don’t bombard them that is!). Dating sites also allow you to use their mail system to get in touch.

Although more cowardly than a phone call, the idea of communicating with them before or after a date is all about ‘damage limitation’, basically you don’t want to be rejected. Anyway, enough of the negative, let’s concentrate on getting you that date.

This article focuses on getting back via email rather than other means. Therefore you NEED to get your email read. Emails with crap headers are too easy to delete, so it’s vital that you use something that presents a little bit of wit and personality. Remember to get creative with your writing and headers… this is pretty much all the other person can judge you on. Stay away from cheesy and cringy… you know how they make YOU feel!

Here are some great subject openers:

• New girl/boy on the block needs a tour guide

• Looking to write a new chapter in my book of life.

• Fly me to the moon.

• I can do the splits.

• If FUN was a MUST then I must be the one you’re looking for.

• Bright spark looking for ignition.

• Over 10m women looking for a relationship and all I want is one.

• Any good e-males out there?

• Willing to lie about how we met!

• Just like a new job, I offer excellent benefits.

• You must be over 5’10” to read this profile.

• Is this thing like eBay?

• Shopping for Guys – And They Said There Was No Such Store!

• I’m like poop. The older I get the easier I am to pick up!

• I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures.



Increase your chance of a date online

FACT – Men outnumber women 2 to one on most dating sites. This scary fact means that if you are a bloke… then you have some serious competition to contend with. There are approximately 16 million singles online that are looking for love, with 11 million of these being men.

Get this - A good looking female profile will get more than 100 winks and 50 messages in a single day. This is what you are contending with fellas.

SO… how does a man get noticed I hear you say? Well, it’s down to your approach of course. Posting a picture and a good profile is one thing, and once you have this sorted you only need worry about the very first email.

A good email response.

This is make or break guys and you need to make every approach individual in order to attract the attention of a particular person.  Don’t make the worst mistake – emailing the same crap to loads of different girls (scattergun approach) as when women read this they will be able to tell that you have just done exactly that (they aint stoopid!)

Carefully choose someone who interests you and then read her profile carefully making very brief notes on what you both have in common. Then go to work! Write your email talking her language and presenting an opinion on an interest she may have or you may share.

Women get emailed some really poorly prepared emails and the only places these end up is in the trash folder. The BIG secret is to understand the sort of person they are from their profile and then tailor a response to them.

Be cheeky, subjects that just say something like ‘Hello’ are plenty and won’t get you noticed. Ask a question instead or just have a bit of fun ‘Frog needs a princess to kiss’! Present a sense of humour, but don’t cross the line of rudeness, it won’t be appreciated.



Read her profile and make notes. Understand what she is looking for and then work out if you are the one, and if so why!

Good subject heading. Make sure your email grabs her attention. Again relate this to her profile and interests.

Tailor every email. Make sure each email appeals specifically to each different lady. It may take longer but I guarantee that your responses will go up 10 fold.

Be yourself. Write the email from the heart and appeal to what she is looking for, there will be loads of clues in her profile which are basically her heartstrings. Find the rhythm and strum them good.

Sell yourself. Get creative with your words and ideas. Don’t sell yourself short, be confident but certainly not arrogant.

Be brief. It is likely that the only words on your email that she will read will be the first line, so make them count.

Call to action. Make sure you close the email with something like ‘Look forward to hearing from you’, it will give her more of a prod to get back to you.


Send the same crap email to 10 girls!

Be rude or explicit.

Write a 2000 essay on your life!


6 Essential Tips on writing a profile

Pretty much every dating site gives you advice as to how to write a profile, and generally they say the same thing which is encouraging.  I have reviewed loads of dating sites and condensed the following 6 ‘essential tips’ for uploading your profile:...

Look at the quality other people on the site you have chosen are writing about themselves so as it gives you a gauge of quality you are up against.  Remember that you are up against others here and to a degree it’s a competition, therefore the strongest tend to win!

Most online daters copy text from other profiles as they get stuck.  You are making an investment so be shrewd with your investment and write something that will differentiate you from the rest of the crowd. 

Be Concise
People will only spend a few seconds reading your profile; therefore don’t waffle as people will get bored and move to someone they can connect with.  Your opening sentence is key so make it eye catching – an idea is to shock!  FACT - The shorter and more precise the profile the more joy you will have in being contacted, time is of the essence when looking for a date online.

Say who you are looking for rather than what you are like
So many online daters write reams of text about what they are like which is really quite boring to read.  In order to get that immediate connection be specific about who you are looking for – the more precise you are about who you are looking for, the more chance you will connect with the right person.  It doesn’t seem natural, but trust me… it will help ten fold with your chance of finding someone!

The more you update your profile the more attention and character you will present.  Treat it as a blog almost and make a monthly update to it telling all what you have been up to – it helps get the emotive connection with potential partners.

Without a logo a brand has no face, in the same way without a photo your profile has no life.  A picture is vital.

Avoid Cliché’s when writing a profile


When writing a profile it’s a common mistake to write the same old dross that most people make up their personals with.

If you really want to stand out from the crowd then you should look to make your profile a little different, and this can be done not just by a good photo…

A good photo is a must as it will generate the initial interest that will lead to a potential date reading the rest of your profile.

Have you noticed that pretty much all online profiles claim to be ‘good looking’, ‘athletic’ (doesn’t tell you much in my experience), and ‘looking for something special’!  Its no wonder that all these profiles are still paying extortionate money to websites to keep their profile online without success. 

I challenge you – write something a little different and the results will astound you.  I’m not talking about you telling people that you like eating worms or something weird like that, but try writing from an unusual standpoint… or tell a story or something. Whatever you do make it compelling and give just enough away to make someone want to get in touch to find out more.

Here are few tips to avoid being another cliché:

Plan your profile on a sheet of paper first. I recommend listing your top 5 ‘good qualities’.  Don’t just copy other profiles otherwise you will just be another number.  Remember, you are in a competition (to a degree) to find a partner and up against thousands of others all looking for ‘the perfect partner’. 

Use a thesaurus. Most online daters use the same old boring words to describe themselves.  How long does it take to look up a word in a thesaurus that is different from the norm…. not long is the answer! Research has proven that unusual words describing yourself gains interest.

Expand on your interests. Don’t just say I like football!  So do 500 million people across the globe.  Instead say something like ‘I play football with a team, and love watching my team xxxxxx on weekends’!  Passion for interest allows a potential date to connect more emotively with you and picks out people who may be a better match for your personality.

An attractive picture. I recently went to a site called and was shocked and stunned to see pictures of singles that looked like they were ready to re-offend!  Upload natural shots of you presenting a natural smile.  If you are not entirely comfortable with your figure just go for a top half shot.  Ask a friend which is your best profile…. and capture it.  First impressions count in online dating.

Online Photo’s without one your just a number


This subject comes up into discussion time and time again.  I am always asked to rate the importance of having a photo online.  In short, if you don’t you have a visible face to your profile it is unlikely anyone will like to look at your profile… even if you are found through a search.


Guaranteed not to attract any attention, well maybe from the police!


A good photo, present yourself with a natural smile.... irresistible!

With online dating you are a commodity, and there are thousands of others out there just as eager, if not more so to get a date.  You have competition, and get this, they may be better looking than you!  So what I say, this isn’t an excuse to give up on uploading a photo, in fact this is the worst thing you can do.  Most of us have a low opinion of ourselves, its true!  And we tend to aim low when it comes to finding a partner.  DON’T!!!  Aim high and you will surprise yourself.

I have given you some great pointers below for uploading a picture (s) for yourself and advise you give it a go.  You are 10 times more likely to be contacted with a photo – fact!

1 - Upload a ‘NATURAL’ picture of yourself in a natural pose.  A forced smile is entirely unattractive.

2 – Upload at least 3 pictures of yourself so as a potential partner can really study you and get no surprises when they meet you.

3 – The photo should be no older than 6 months!!!  I met a girl online once who was stunning in her photo.  Turns out the photo was 15 years old and she was minging!

4 – Make sure there is enough light in your photo and you are clearly visible.  Dark pictures tells someone you are hiding something.

5 – Add a couple of photos to a ‘friends only see’ area of a site.  This will get potential dates enthused and want to contact you to find out what all the mystery is.

6 – Present your personality by showing a fun side of you.  Maybe a picture of you dressed up for a fancy dress party or something.  It makes you fun!

It doesn’t matter if you are ugly, your written profile and search criteria will do the selling.  Everyone has a beautiful side, just be natural in the shot and you will show it!

Online Dating Do’s and Don’ts


There’s no doubt about it, dating is a science!

Three factors are key to a successful date. Preparation, understanding the rules, and having a good time! If you get the preparation right, you have a damn good chance the rest will be a success.



Top Tip – With so much choice online, you are in control!

The web is saturated with dating sites who all want your money.  My tip to you is to....

.... look carefully before choosing your preferred website.  As the market becomes saturated and the websites try different business models to differentiate from their rivals, the deals come flooding in your favour!  Almost every site has the same old promises, so therefore try checking out the following 5 items before signing up:

1. Understand your intentions and find a site offering the same
2. Location – Are there sufficient members in your area
3. Age Group – Is everyone of an age bracket you want to meet
4. Cost – Draw up a comparison table of your top three sites and look for the best deal!
5. Features – Ensure the site is secure, anonymous and has all the features you may want for your style of dating (e.g. live chat with members online etc)



Remember – First impressions count, so if you really want the date to work, you have to immediately show courtesy and etiquette.  ‘Manners maketh man’ was a phrase my mum brought me up with, and I must say that there is no finer description of how to really impress your date – and that goes for the ladies as well – it is a world of equality after all!

What is key to the dating game is being able to enjoy yourself – you normally can tell if you have sparks with your date and my advice would be the following (on the date)

Scenario 1 There is an immediate attraction – Hold back and play it cool, try to be yourself and not over keen!  This is not easy, but can be off putting to your dating partner if you are too full on!

Scenario 2 There is zero attraction – Never be cutting or rude, even if you can tell your date feels the same way.  The safest option is to be honest, and make an excuse to finish the date early (e.g. “I feel a little uncomfortable doing this so let’s go our own ways”)

The development of the internet provides the single person, with whatever preference, with an opportunity to cheaply, simply, safely and efficiently meet a potential partner.  This research stage is key to lining up a suitable and enjoyable date and should not be understated. 

Here are a few more pointers for online dating:

1 – Prospect, prospect, prospect.  Search and find 5 potential partners and just get to know them online.  Give them fictional scenarios to react to and gauge their reaction to what you are looking for
2 – Upload a current photo of yourself, you are 10 limes more likely to have someone contact you by doing so.  Don’t put up a photo which is blurred or in bad light – looks like you are hiding something
3 – Don’t give your contact details to anyone!  There are some nutters out there
4 – Love yourself and only take the best – it’s what you deserve
5 – Don’t lie, you will always be caught out!
6 – Match yourself to someone who wants the same as you
7 – Play it cool and create a little mystery about yourself – it’s very sexy
8 – Use keywords in your profile that will help the websites find you (if they have a search facility)

I stumbled across this site earlier and felt it needed to be in my ‘niche dating’ section because it really is quite unique in terms of the visitors it is looking to attract.

It is a site set up in the States specialising in attracting people with Cancer, Diabetes, IBS, Obesity, Deafness, Allergies, Hepatitis, Infertility/Impotence, and STDs.  My first thought and concern with it was that you can’t categorise people with cancer and impotence!  Two very different but still nasty things to happen to someone. Have people looking to make a buck out of the online dating revolution gone too far this time?


10 things to never say to your significant other…gotta add some humor here

Really… there is no lie here, saying one of these is either going to have them packing their bags… or packing a punch straight in the wedding tackle. They are funny though!

1. “Just go and finish the dishes and shut the hell up”

2. “I thought periods only came once a month”

3. “Don’t take it out on me the fact you are pissed off about getting fatter”

4. “Don’t start crying”

5. “You look so ugly when you get angry”

6. “Be quiet woman, your nagging gives me a headache and I can’t shag you if I have one”

7. “I wonder if my subscription to has expired”

8. “Zip it… zip…. Zip etc”

9. “I take it that you don’t want my kids then”

10. “Get down and give me 10”

The bizarre world of internet dating

I’ve see it all now!  Dating sites have moved to new realms of categorisation in the search for their niche markets. This just reenforces the fact that there is someone out there for everyone!

Check out my three top niche dating sites.....

After spending an hour or so looking at the most bizarre niche dating sites I came across some of the following.  Its all fun and people like to categorise so it makes sense to do so, its just how the minds of those people who set up these websites get me.  There’s NO excuse not to find your ideal mate in this day and age!

Here are my top 3 bizarre dating websites:

Geek to geek


“Whether you’re looking for romance or just friendship, this is the place to hook up. Geeks are special, and their interests don’t match the kinds of questions asked in other dating sites’ profiles. We have carefully designed our profile information by including information that is important to geeks and their admirers. Not only that, but you have the ability to pick the most important characteristics of a match so that your matches most closely reflect your specific interests”.

Trek Passions


“A 100% free online community and SciFi personals site for science fiction lovers, including but not limited to lovers of Star Trek and Star Wars. Find others who share your passion for Sci Fi”.

Gothic Match


“GothicMatch was set up to help those in the Gothic lifestyle find each other. Whether in your local community or around the world.  Join GothicMatch to find someone to share your interests, your problems, your music and your spirit or even the perfect darkchylde to bring back to your lair.  It’s free to join the hundreds of thousands who have already made this dark little corner of the net their home. Never be alone in the dark again”.

It’s good to know that whatever you’re passions… there’s someone somewhere out there for you!



has been the first dating firm to allow international SMS-dating, connecting Western men with Russian beauties seeking a better life away from Russia!

I must admit that it makes it far simpler if you want to find a beauty on the other side of the world…. But before you decide to go this route, why can’t you find a beauty where you are.  I am always a little suspect of why Russian and far eastern girls are so desperate for a western man, apart from the promise of a better life.


Judge the ladies waiting at the end of the line for yourself!

Anyway, enough of my rant. I must admit that many of the girls are stunningly beautiful, and the service should revolutionise some desperate blokes lives.  What happens is that you can send a text directly to the girl you like through their site, allowing the girl to get to know you.  The service is instant, she receives the text and replies from her mobile and her reply is forwarded to any email address you provide.

A real bonus is that, to use the CuteSMS service you don’t even have to become CuteOnly registered member.  Apparently Russian girls love SMS chats. They’d rather send and receive dozens of short text messages than make a single call.

Well, if you really fancy the plane fares, can’t firnd your perfect match in the local boozer, and don’t mind the expensive tastes of an absolute Russian stunner then get texting.


has been the first dating firm to allow international SMS-dating, connecting Western men with Russian beauties seeking a better life away from Russia!


OnlineBootyCall recently released some quite alarming figures: its site achieves 1 marriage out of a million members! However the site is all about ‘booty call’, not really about marriages. The site is presently solely aimed at the US and its horny population.


Founded 3 years ago, I’m sure you will agree that this record is quite eye opening, and what does it say about the success rates of other online dating sites?

However, the site’s CEO recently defended the report by saying: “ makes over 30,000 connections each day - that equals one marriage per 32,850,000 booty-call connections. Nobody else can boast that kind of success”.

“If we were less superficial, we would probably have more marriages and we certainly don’t want to go there,” he said.

So far, OnlineBootyCall has given out over $100,000 in incentive cash prizes to members. Every member who refers at least five people during the course of one month is placed in a random draw for $1,000.

The site’s sign-up process can be accomplished in less than one minute. The catch is that every member is required to post at least one personal photo. So it’s not for the ugly. It’s purely for the horny!



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