Tips for Online Dates by Hayden Allen
Top Suject Openers
You’re looking for the first date
or perhaps the second, and you’ve found a profile or person that interests you,
now it’s time to make that move. But how do you do it? A nervous phone call, a
text, through a friend, or via email?
Email is a great unobtrusive way
of getting in touch (if you don’t bombard them that is!). Dating sites also
allow you to use their mail system to get in touch.
Although more cowardly than a
phone call, the idea of communicating with them before or after a date is all
about ‘damage limitation’, basically you don’t want to be rejected. Anyway,
enough of the negative, let’s concentrate on getting you that date.
This article focuses on getting
back via email rather than other means. Therefore you NEED to get your email
read. Emails with crap headers are too easy to delete, so it’s vital that you
use something that presents a little bit of wit and personality. Remember to
get creative with your writing and headers… this is pretty much all the other
person can judge you on. Stay away from cheesy and cringy… you know how they
make YOU feel!
Here are some great subject
• New girl/boy on the block
needs a tour guide
• Looking to write a new
chapter in my book of life.
• Fly me to the moon.
• I can do the splits.
• If FUN was a MUST then I
must be the one you’re looking for.
• Bright spark looking for
• Over 10m women looking for a
relationship and all I want is one.
• Any good e-males out there?
• Willing to lie about how we
• Just like a new job, I offer
• You must be over 5’10” to
read this profile.
• Is this thing like eBay?
• Shopping for Guys – And They
Said There Was No Such Store!
• I’m like poop. The older I
get the easier I am to pick up!
• I believe in dragons, good
men, and other fantasy creatures.
Increase your chance of a date
FACT – Men outnumber women 2 to one on most dating
sites. This scary fact means that if you are a bloke… then you have some
serious competition to contend with. There are approximately 16 million singles
online that are looking for love, with 11 million of these being men.
Get this - A good looking female
profile will get more than 100 winks and 50 messages in a single day. This is
what you are contending with fellas.
SO… how does a man get noticed I
hear you say? Well, it’s down to your approach of course. Posting a picture and
a good profile is one thing, and once you have this sorted you only need worry
about the very first email.
A good email response.
This is make or break guys and
you need to make every approach individual in order to attract the attention of
a particular person. Don’t make the worst mistake – emailing the same
crap to loads of different girls (scattergun approach) as when women read this
they will be able to tell that you have just done exactly that (they aint
Carefully choose someone who
interests you and then read her profile carefully making very brief notes on
what you both have in common. Then go to work! Write your email talking her
language and presenting an opinion on an interest she may have or you may
Women get emailed some really
poorly prepared emails and the only places these end up is in the trash folder.
The BIG secret is to understand the sort of person they are from their profile
and then tailor a response to them.
Be cheeky, subjects that just say
something like ‘Hello’ are plenty and won’t get you noticed. Ask a question
instead or just have a bit of fun ‘Frog needs a princess to kiss’! Present a
sense of humour, but don’t cross the line of rudeness, it won’t be appreciated.
Read her profile and make
notes. Understand what
she is looking for and then work out if you are the one, and if so why!
Good subject heading. Make sure your email grabs her attention.
Again relate this to her profile and interests.
Tailor every email. Make sure each email appeals
specifically to each different lady. It may take longer but I guarantee that
your responses will go up 10 fold.
Be yourself. Write the email from the heart and appeal
to what she is looking for, there will be loads of clues in her profile which
are basically her heartstrings. Find the rhythm and strum them good.
Sell yourself. Get creative with your words and ideas.
Don’t sell yourself short, be confident but certainly not arrogant.
Be brief. It is likely that the only words on your
email that she will read will be the first line, so make them count.
Call to action. Make sure you close the email with
something like ‘Look forward to hearing from you’, it will give her more of a
prod to get back to you.
Send the same crap email to 10
Be rude or explicit.
Write a 2000 essay on your
6 Essential Tips on writing a
Pretty much every dating site
gives you advice as to how to write a profile, and generally they say the same
thing which is encouraging. I have reviewed loads of dating sites and
condensed the following 6 ‘essential tips’ for uploading your profile:...
Look at the quality other people on the site you have chosen are writing about
themselves so as it gives you a gauge of quality you are up against.
Remember that you are up against others here and to a degree it’s a
competition, therefore the strongest tend to win!
Most online daters copy text from other profiles as they get stuck. You
are making an investment so be shrewd with your investment and write something
that will differentiate you from the rest of the crowd.
People will only spend a few seconds reading your profile; therefore don’t
waffle as people will get bored and move to someone they can connect
with. Your opening sentence is key so make it eye catching – an idea is
to shock! FACT - The shorter and more precise the profile the more joy
you will have in being contacted, time is of the essence when looking for a
Say who you are looking for
rather than what you are like
So many online daters write reams of text about what they are like which is
really quite boring to read. In order to get that immediate connection be
specific about who you are looking for – the more precise you are about who you
are looking for, the more chance you will connect with the right person.
It doesn’t seem natural, but trust me… it will help ten fold with your chance
of finding someone!
The more you update your profile the more attention and character you will
present. Treat it as a blog almost and make a monthly update to it
telling all what you have been up to – it helps get the emotive connection with
Without a logo a brand has no face, in the same way without a photo your
profile has no life. A picture is vital.
Avoid Cliché’s when writing a profile
When writing a profile it’s a
common mistake to write the same old dross that most people make up their
If you really want to stand out
from the crowd then you should look to make your profile a little different,
and this can be done not just by a good photo…
A good photo is a must as it will
generate the initial interest that will lead to a potential date reading the
rest of your profile.
Have you noticed that pretty much
all online profiles claim to be ‘good looking’, ‘athletic’ (doesn’t tell you
much in my experience), and ‘looking for something special’! Its no
wonder that all these profiles are still paying extortionate money to websites
to keep their profile online without success.
I challenge you – write something
a little different and the results will astound you. I’m not talking
about you telling people that you like eating worms or something weird like
that, but try writing from an unusual standpoint… or tell a story or something.
Whatever you do make it compelling and give just enough away to make someone
want to get in touch to find out more.
Here are few tips to avoid
being another cliché:
Plan your profile on a sheet
of paper first. I
recommend listing your top 5 ‘good qualities’. Don’t just copy other
profiles otherwise you will just be another number. Remember, you are in
a competition (to a degree) to find a partner and up against thousands of
others all looking for ‘the perfect partner’.
Use a thesaurus. Most online daters use the same old
boring words to describe themselves. How long does it take to look up a
word in a thesaurus that is different from the norm…. not long is the answer!
Research has proven that unusual words describing yourself gains interest.
Expand on your interests. Don’t just say I like football! So
do 500 million people across the globe. Instead say something like ‘I
play football with a team, and love watching my team xxxxxx on weekends’!
Passion for interest allows a potential date to connect more emotively with you
and picks out people who may be a better match for your personality.
An attractive picture. I recently went to a site called http://www.pickmequick.com
and was shocked and stunned to see pictures of singles that looked like they
were ready to re-offend! Upload natural shots of you presenting a natural
smile. If you are not entirely comfortable with your figure just go for a
top half shot. Ask a friend which is your best profile…. and capture it.
First impressions count in online dating.
Online Photo’s without one your just a number
This subject comes up into
discussion time and time again. I am always asked to rate the importance
of having a photo online. In short, if you don’t you have a visible face
to your profile it is unlikely anyone will like to look at your profile… even
if you are found through a search.
Guaranteed not to attract any
attention, well maybe from the police!
A good photo, present yourself
with a natural smile.... irresistible!
With online dating you are a
commodity, and there are thousands of others out there just as eager, if not
more so to get a date. You have competition, and get this, they may be
better looking than you! So what I say, this isn’t an excuse to give up
on uploading a photo, in fact this is the worst thing you can do. Most of
us have a low opinion of ourselves, its true! And we tend to aim low when
it comes to finding a partner. DON’T!!! Aim high and you will
I have given you some great
pointers below for uploading a picture (s) for yourself and advise you give it
a go. You are 10 times more likely to be contacted with a photo – fact!
1 - Upload a ‘NATURAL’ picture
of yourself in a natural pose. A forced smile is entirely unattractive.
2 – Upload at least 3 pictures
of yourself so as a potential partner can really study you and get no surprises
when they meet you.
3 – The photo should be no
older than 6 months!!! I met a girl online once who was stunning in her
photo. Turns out the photo was 15 years old and she was minging!
4 – Make sure there is enough
light in your photo and you are clearly visible. Dark pictures tells
someone you are hiding something.
5 – Add a couple of photos to
a ‘friends only see’ area of a site. This will get potential dates
enthused and want to contact you to find out what all the mystery is.
6 – Present your personality
by showing a fun side of you. Maybe a picture of you dressed up for a
fancy dress party or something. It makes you fun!
It doesn’t matter if you are
ugly, your written profile and search criteria will do the selling.
Everyone has a beautiful side, just be natural in the shot and you will show
Online Dating Do’s and Don’ts
There’s no doubt about it, dating
is a science!
Three factors are key to a
successful date. Preparation, understanding the rules, and having a good time!
If you get the preparation right, you have a damn good chance the rest will be
Top Tip – With so much choice
online, you are in control!
The web is saturated with dating
sites who all want your money. My tip to you is to....
.... look carefully before
choosing your preferred website. As the market becomes saturated and the
websites try different business models to differentiate from their rivals, the
deals come flooding in your favour! Almost every site has the same old
promises, so therefore try checking out the following 5 items before signing
1. Understand your intentions and
find a site offering the same
2. Location – Are there sufficient members in your area
3. Age Group – Is everyone of an age bracket you want to meet
4. Cost – Draw up a comparison table of your top three sites and look for the
5. Features – Ensure the site is secure, anonymous and has all the features you
may want for your style of dating (e.g. live chat with members online etc)
Remember – First impressions count, so if you
really want the date to work, you have to immediately show courtesy and
etiquette. ‘Manners maketh man’ was a phrase my mum brought me up with,
and I must say that there is no finer description of how to really impress your
date – and that goes for the ladies as well – it is a world of equality after
What is key to the dating game is
being able to enjoy yourself – you normally can tell if you have sparks with
your date and my advice would be the following (on the date)
Scenario 1 There is an immediate attraction – Hold
back and play it cool, try to be yourself and not over keen! This is not
easy, but can be off putting to your dating partner if you are too full on!
Scenario 2 There is zero attraction – Never be
cutting or rude, even if you can tell your date feels the same way. The
safest option is to be honest, and make an excuse to finish the date early
(e.g. “I feel a little uncomfortable doing this so let’s go our own ways”)
The development of the internet
provides the single person, with whatever preference, with an opportunity to
cheaply, simply, safely and efficiently meet a potential partner. This
research stage is key to lining up a suitable and enjoyable date and should not
Here are a few more pointers for
1 – Prospect, prospect, prospect. Search and
find 5 potential partners and just get to know them online. Give them
fictional scenarios to react to and gauge their reaction to what you are
2 – Upload a current photo of yourself, you are 10 limes more likely to
have someone contact you by doing so. Don’t put up a photo which is
blurred or in bad light – looks like you are hiding something
3 – Don’t give your contact details to anyone! There are some
nutters out there
4 – Love yourself and only take the best – it’s what you deserve
5 – Don’t lie, you will always be caught out!
6 – Match yourself to someone who wants the same as you
7 – Play it cool and create a little mystery about yourself – it’s very
8 – Use keywords in your profile that will help the websites find you
(if they have a search facility)
I stumbled across this site
earlier and felt it needed to be in my ‘niche dating’ section because it really
is quite unique in terms of the visitors it is looking to attract.
It is a site set up in the States
specialising in attracting people with Cancer, Diabetes, IBS, Obesity,
Deafness, Allergies, Hepatitis, Infertility/Impotence, and STDs. My first
thought and concern with it was that you can’t categorise people with cancer
and impotence! Two very different but still nasty things to happen to
someone. Have people looking to make a buck out of the online dating revolution
gone too far this time?
10 things to never say to your
significant other…gotta add some humor here
Really… there is no lie here,
saying one of these is either going to have them packing their bags… or packing
a punch straight in the wedding tackle. They are funny though!
1. “Just go and finish the dishes and shut the hell
2. “I thought periods only came once a month”
3. “Don’t take it out on me the fact you are pissed
off about getting fatter”
4. “Don’t start crying”
5. “You look so ugly when you get angry”
6. “Be quiet woman, your nagging gives me a headache
and I can’t shag you if I have one”
7. “I wonder if my subscription to Match.com has
8. “Zip it… zip…. Zip etc”
9. “I take it that you don’t want my kids then”
10. “Get down and give me 10”
The bizarre world of internet
I’ve see it all now! Dating
sites have moved to new realms of categorisation in the search for their niche
markets. This just reenforces the fact that there is someone out there for
Check out my three top niche
After spending an hour or so
looking at the most bizarre niche dating sites I came across some of the
following. Its all fun and people like to categorise so it makes sense to
do so, its just how the minds of those people who set up these websites get
me. There’s NO excuse not to find your ideal mate in this day and age!
Here are my top 3 bizarre
Geek to geek
“Whether you’re looking for
romance or just friendship, this is the place to hook up. Geeks are special,
and their interests don’t match the kinds of questions asked in other dating
sites’ profiles. We have carefully designed our profile information by
including information that is important to geeks and their admirers. Not only
that, but you have the ability to pick the most important characteristics of a
match so that your matches most closely reflect your specific interests”.
“A 100% free online community and
SciFi personals site for science fiction lovers, including but not limited to
lovers of Star Trek and Star Wars. Find others who share your passion for Sci
“GothicMatch was set up to help
those in the Gothic lifestyle find each other. Whether in your local community
or around the world. Join GothicMatch to find someone to share your
interests, your problems, your music and your spirit or even the perfect
darkchylde to bring back to your lair. It’s free to join the hundreds of
thousands who have already made this dark little corner of the net their home.
Never be alone in the dark again”.
It’s good to know that whatever
you’re passions… there’s someone somewhere out there for you!
has been the first dating firm to
allow international SMS-dating, connecting Western men with Russian beauties
seeking a better life away from Russia!
I must admit that it makes it far
simpler if you want to find a beauty on the other side of the world…. But
before you decide to go this route, why can’t you find a beauty where you
are. I am always a little suspect of why Russian and far eastern girls are
so desperate for a western man, apart from the promise of a better life.
Judge the ladies waiting at the
end of the line for yourself!
Anyway, enough of my rant. I must
admit that many of the girls are stunningly beautiful, and the service should
revolutionise some desperate blokes lives. What happens is that you can
send a text directly to the girl you like through their site, allowing the girl
to get to know you. The service is instant, she receives the text and
replies from her mobile and her reply is forwarded to any email address you
A real bonus is that, to use the
CuteSMS service you don’t even have to become CuteOnly registered member.
Apparently Russian girls love SMS chats. They’d rather send and receive dozens
of short text messages than make a single call.
Well, if you really fancy the
plane fares, can’t firnd your perfect match in the local boozer, and don’t mind
the expensive tastes of an absolute Russian stunner then get texting.
has been the first dating firm to
allow international SMS-dating, connecting Western men with Russian beauties
seeking a better life away from Russia!
recently released some quite alarming figures: its site achieves 1 marriage out
of a million members! However the site is all about ‘booty call’, not really
about marriages. The site is presently solely aimed at the US and its horny
Founded 3 years ago, I’m sure you
will agree that this record is quite eye opening, and what does it say about
the success rates of other online dating sites?
However, the site’s CEO recently
defended the report by saying: “OnlineBootyCall.com makes over 30,000 connections
each day - that equals one marriage per 32,850,000 booty-call connections.
Nobody else can boast that kind of success”.
“If we were less superficial, we
would probably have more marriages and we certainly don’t want to go there,” he
So far, OnlineBootyCall has given
out over $100,000 in incentive cash prizes to members. Every member who refers
at least five people during the course of one month is placed in a random draw
The site’s sign-up process can be
accomplished in less than one minute. The catch is that every member is
required to post at least one personal photo. So it’s not for the ugly. It’s
purely for the horny!